My first blog post was about how Taylor Swift ruined her hard-to-get mystique when she wrote love songs about Joe Jonas immediately following their break-up. One of my readers commented that Taylor is young and need not play hard-to-get. Yet, heartache is real for any woman, irrespective of her age.
My clients frequently tell me that they wished they'd read The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider as young women. They recognize the guidance provided in this book could have saved them heartache and confusion about men.
Selena Gomez, 18, is actually doing a great job of playing hard-to-get and not talking up a storm about her relationship with Justin Bieber, 16, to the press. There are 40-year old female celebrities who could take a page from her book. Sure, there are pictures of the two of them out there, but Selena is not gushing in her interviews about him. Some claim that she is using him for the limelight, but I'm not so sure. A few article excerpts below will help prove my point:
Hollywood Life: While at a party together, Justin and Selena "declined taking pictures together, but took as many photos separately as requested. Selena spent her time with many of the girls who were there, chatting about make-up and other girly stuff."
Celeb Dirty Laundry: "Since Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez were rumored to be dating, the twosome have been pretty mum on the topic of their romance. They have never commented to confirm the rumors of their relationship."
MTV Music: After being seen together having breakfast, Selena downplayed their outing and said "[I]t was pancakes. Who doesn't like pancakes?"
Very true Selena; everyone likes pancakes! In fact, I add the syrup as I go instead of pouring it all over the pancakes. Pancakes aside. . .
Why do I think that Selena is doing a great job of playing hard-to-get?
1. The first article caught my eye the most. Selena gave Justin space when they were at the event and did not walk around the party holding hands with him, announcing to the world that they were boyfriend and girlfriend. Instead, Selena kept her cool and talked to the other girls at the party, enjoying time with her friends. She smiled at the world and did not need his attention, even declining the convenient photo ops that presented themselves. The hard-to-get girl doesn't need her man's attention all of the time. She is perfectly happy talking to others, appreciating all that the world has to offer. A man loves a woman who doesn't need him - it makes him want her more!
2. Selena is earning a reputation as the girl who does not kiss and tell. It goes without saying that being known for this, especially in Hollywood, is priceless. Being so young and conducting herself with class will take her far and make her career last. She comes across as stable and very put together. The hard-to-get girl does very well for herself when she acts as if there is a ton more going on in her life than the man she is seeing.
3. Those who say that Selena is in it with Justin for the press might be wrong. In fact, she downplays their relationship and makes it seem like nothing is going on. Many teenage girls in Selena's shoes would be thrilled to give the press a tell-all. Not Selena. She prefers to keep everyone guessing. In the meantime, it looks like she is also keeping her guy.
The only Platinum Pointer that I would offer Selena is that she occasionally drops comments about Justin that are a tad too friendly, e.g. calling him family and saying that she loves him like a friend. Selena shouldn't use loaded words like "love" and "family." This is especially true given all Justin has ever really said about her is that she is "amazing." However, I have found no articles that say he is using the "L" word.
Nevertheless, Selena is doing very well for such a young woman. If she continues to keep her mystery, I predict that Justin and she will last at least another year or so. Were they older, I think it could last longer. However, he is 16, she is 18 and well. . . anything can happen. I think she might even leave him. Either way, in Justin's eyes, Selena continues to . . .
